Where are the cryogenically frozen astronauts and their space ships? We should have been finding monoliths on the moon and around Jupiter by now, I mean come on! Then some damn fool should have fallen asleep, gotten knocked off course, and ended up in some alternate universe with a bunch of damn, dirty apes or half naked space princesses! But noooooo, none of this is possible why? I’ll tell you why. None of this is possible because, we have no cryogenically frozen astronauts and their spaceships.

Where are my transporter beams? We have the comunicators, the wall televisions, and the mini computers (we call them desktops and laptops) in every home but, no transporters. Why can’t science get it’s head out of it’s ass and figure this one out? How hard can it be to figure out a way to transform my matter into energy and back into matter after trasmitting it thousands to millions of miles away?

Forget the damn flying cars! Where the hell are my flying, time jumping Delorians and steam powered locomotives? I mean come on! We’ve had the flux capacitor thingy for what 22 years now and no one has put it all together yet? I want to go back in time and see my grandpa when he gets out of the Navy after WWII so I can tell him something. Don’t sell the entire family farm that a race car driver now owns and, the land is now worth more in that area to a developer than our entire family makes in a year combined! Then I wouldn’t have to work for him on the land my own family used to own!

And where are the damn robots? I am not talking about the stupid, “Danger Will Robinson,” kind either. I am talking about the Cherry 2000 awesome looking “friendly” robots! I am talking about the clean my house, walk my dogs, babysit my kids, cook my dinner, and wash my car robots. Then if those don’t turn you on, where are the giant battle tank ones that I could rule the Earth with huh? Most sophisticated species indeed.

One last thing I am waiting for science to bring me, the underwater cities. When am I going to be able to go for a long walk at the beach without the damn pier? Why can’t I talk to dolphins and stingrays and learn the secrets of the universe from them? Why can’t I get up and look at the beautiful blue, sea sky instead of dull, gray clouds yet? I’ll tell you why, because some brilliant guy behind a desk that has never even seen the ocean, much less been in it, decides to send all our money for nautical research to a bunch of people living in a desert in the form of food. Now I am not complaining about feeding these starving people, well okay yes I am. Why are we sending them constant streams of supplies costing us constant flows of money when, some fat, cat warlord is taking it all and not giving it to the people who need it? And why are we sending these people supplies in the first place instead of trucks and trailers to move out of the DESERT?!? They live in a DESERT and nothing grows worth a crap there! Trust me I have been to them both in our country and others, there is nothing there they would miss. Let’s move them to green fertile lands and teach them how to grown food where it will grow. Then we can stop sending so much money to druglords and warchiefs and instead fund the research to build me a freeking sea world.

Wait that is it! Get the funding back to build a sea world that can float or submerge under water. Maximize underwater farming habitats and grow limiltless suppies of food in reusable, recyclable habitats. Then use that technology to figure out how to make my Delorian go through time to learn how to cryogenically freeze a guy. Then freeze the astronauts who can go find a monolith around Jupiter and get knocked off course on their way back to Earth and tear off into another dimension. In the other dimension they will learn how to transfer matter to energy and back again. Using this technology they will figure out how to transport themselves back to our time with all the answers to everything.

Now why hasn’t somebody else figured all that out yet huh? Damn that was easy!